How Not To Be A Dick On Valentine's Day

So it's Feb 14th.. we all know what that means. Here's our two cense for ya, if you want it...
LISTEN UP IF YOU'RE SINGLE:

We get it….. it’s annoying seeing Carla post the 13th story of the day about how perfect Jon boy is but let them be bro, we’ve all been there so don’t piss on their bonfire just because you’ve found spiritual enlightenment.

What NOT to do in this situ:

  • Obsess about WHY you’re not in a relationship
  • Scroll through Carla’s feed and getting jealous about her trip to the Bahamas in 2017
  • Obsess about Carlas perfect abs and bum from a pic in 2016
  • Cry because Carla is getting married, owns a house and Jon Boy has just asked her to marry him 13 minutes ago and Carla shared it 9 minutes ago on Instagram.

What to DO in this situ:

  • Remind yourself that everyone is running their own race and will complete it in their own time. 
  • Cheer Carla the fuck on. 

LISTEN UP IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

‘Oh we just don’t do valentines day’ Yeh, cool Sebastian....you go to Goldsmiths and idolise Jim Morrison, roll up cigs and are too tired to sleep or eat. How you could celebrate such a day is beyond comprehension and Felicity completely understands you don’t ‘do valentines day’

Life is fun when you put a bit of effort in. It’s an opportunity to love each other, to share intimacy, to go on a date you haven’t been on in 7 weeks. Embrace it, being cool is SO uncool.


A NOTE TO YOURSELF 

So it’s not your time to be in a relationship and you’re single…..let’s embrace that shit. Make sure that lonely text (we all do it) Is going to your other single friends who need a partner in crime to go out with tonight……

and not….I REPEAT….NOT! your manky, self absorbed ex that is spreading those messages out across quiiiite a few phones and disregarding your feelings. You’re better than that.

You’re what? 22? In the age of enlightenment and being ‘woke’ we have a tendency to forget about having fun. Remember your 20’s are your selfish years…..you can sleep with whoever the hell you want just because you can. Date lots, party lots, love lots, be selfish but be kind lots.

Mate, if you don’t juice your 20’s for everything they’re worth, by 25 you’ll be comparing duck egg blue’s for which you’re going to paint your skirting boards with this Sunday as you remind your partner to pick up some non bio detergent.

GOING THROUGH SOMETHING BIGGER THAN VALENTINES DAY?

Disregard everything we say and we hope you’re ok today x

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